It wasn’t always dresses. Sometimes they’d make the boys wear a pair of little girlie shorts, sometimes with tights or leggings too. They were both put in I love Justin Beiber T shirts on one occasion, but worst of all was the day they were dressed in playsuits. Both had buttons up the back and the girls thought it would be funny to stitch them shut and make the boys wear them until they wet themselves. At least they both had a nappy on. The next time they were relieved to be put in dresses again… but that’s not the same as being happy about it.

They’d be forced to play with Barbie dolls, play Disney Princess Top-Trumps, endure My Little Pony DVDs and make them apply lipstick and eye-shadow. They’d ask them questions such as what colour knickers are you wearing? and when they gave a short timid reply, they’d encourage them to rephrase it, with more details. “I’m wearing sky blue knickers with frilly white trim and a blue satin bow.” Peter would humbly reply. Then they’d ask him why he’s wearing sky blue knickers. “To match my dress.” he’d shyly state.